Oh Vanity thy name is Clara

I should place a disclaimer here. If you are a guy who does not want to hear about female grooming, stop now, otherwise it could get weird.

All my life, well at least since puberty, I have been hairy. At one point in high school, a fellow male student commented that I had more arm hair than him. This comment did not bother me too much, since it is mostly blonde and society (at least in my circles) doesn't really seem to care about arm hair. But that statement could also be applied to places like my legs, bikini line, and underarm, which does bother me.


In 5th grade, there a was girl in my class who liked to pick on me and one day she made a comment about my underarms. So later that summer, when it was time for my family to go on our annual vacation spot, a place where I live in a bathing suit for about 2 weeks, I decided that it was time to enter the world of hair removal. At the time, I was scared of using a razor because I was sure that I would cut myself severely. My mom tried her best to assuage my fears, but I wasn't ready for the blade. Instead, we tried Nair. BIG MISTAKE! Even though I followed the directions, it gave me chemical burns. I couldn't put my arms down for 4 days due to the pain. On the positive side, I quickly got over my fear of razors.

I have used Nair and other chemical hair removal formulas since then with no problems. I think that first area was just extremely sensitive, but after shaving there it has toughened up significantly.

My battle with hair has been confined to razors (manual and electric) or removal creme. However, this has always been a chore which I have hated, because my hair is dark and so I only get about 1 day per shave.

I have considered waxing, but I'm a chicken and so far have never been able to bring myself to try. I also feel that if I am going to put up with the pain, I want it gone for good.

Recently, I went to an electrolysis consultation where I was recommended for laser hair removal. Both electrolysis and laser hair removal is extremely expensive. However, I think I might have found a good solution.

Introducing the Tria laser. This device uses the same type of laser used by the professionals, just at a lower power. It costs $400 and is designed to last long enough to eliminate most of the hair from your body.

After a couple of weeks of research and 4 days of eagerly watching FedEx package tracking, I have my very own Tria in my hands.

I prepped the skin as directed and chose a test patch on my leg. Starting with the lowest power setting, I began the test. Level 2 was fine, but at level 3 I felt a slight zing. At level 4, the zing was too intense. I say zing because it wasn't exactly painful, but there was a brief sharp sensation which cause my entire body to tingle. Needless to say, this would get bothersome over the duration of an entire leg. I have decided to acquire a topical anesthetic to decrease discomfort for longer treatment times. Tomorrow, I will see how the test section did. Assuming that everything goes well, I plan to start treating my underarms, bikini lines, and legs. It will be 9 months before I know if I have won my battle with hair removal and I plan to include battle reports along the way.

Grad school has made me crazy!

After 2.5 years of feeling poorly, I think I have finally figured out what is wrong: grad school is hell on my mental health. For a very long time, I was experiencing severe abdominal pain which was determined to be IBS. None of the IBS medications worked for me, so the next step was to treat my IBS triggers, namely stress. This was accomplished by my gastroenterologist prescribing me Lexapro. I have been taking this depression/anti-anxiety medication for a year now and my IBS symptoms have cleared up significantly. However, I have still been fighting extreme fatigue. At first, I felt that the fatigue was from the daily pain, but as that dissipated the lack of energy has continued. According to my mother's psychiatrist, some of the symptoms I complained of sounded like the physical manifestation of depression. Also, I was a tad uncomfortable with my gastroenterologist managing psychiatric medication. And finally, I do have a very strong family history of mental illness, so having someone more knowledgeable would be beneficial.

So recently I decided to find a psychiatrist. Little did I know...if you aren't crazy before...you will be after searching for a psychiatrist.

I used my insurance doctor finder to find all of the psychiatrists in the area. There were 63 names on the list. I didn't want to travel too far out of my way, so I was able to cut that number in half. My second elimination was for any doctor whose name I couldn't pronounce. I don't have anything against doctors who either grew up or studied in another country, but I want to make sure my doctor's philosophies with regards to treatment line up with my own. I have had experiences on several occasions where this has been an issue. I had one doctor who told me not to bathe as often and to not use soap. This doctor was not a dermatologist and my problem was not related to skin issues. However, this doctor was from a country that has different ideas about hygiene and I don't want to have issues however minor when it comes to my treatment.

Now on to the good stuff...

With the two conditions, above I began calling to find a doctor. The first doctor on the list was accepting new patients, but I would have to wait until November to get an appointment. So I said thanks, but I needed something sooner. The second doctor's office on the list was not accepting new patients. However, one of them would accept a request for treatment, so the receptionist started asking me questions about my health history. At first, it was pretty standard questions in which I explained my IBS history and what I was looking for. However, the conversation quickly went south.

Receptionist: Did any doctor refer you?

Me: No, but my mother talked to her psychiatrist about my symptoms and he thought it would be a good idea to see someone.

Receptionist: Well, why don't you see your mother's doctor.

Me: I am not really from the area.

Receptionist: How long are you going to be here?

Me: 3 years.

Receptionist: Where does you mother live?

Me: Oklahoma. I also saw a psychologist on the Notre Dame campus who gave me one of those checklist tests and said I may have depression.

Receptionist: Can't you see a psychiatrist on campus?

Me: They only have psychologists.

Receptionist: Why are you here over the summer?

Me: I am a graduate student and I am here year-round.

Finally the questions ended, and I was able to move on the next number on the list. Many of the doctors on the list were members of the same practice, so many of the calls covered 6-10 doctors on the list at a time.

The next place I called went something like this...

Robotic Voice: Thank you for calling Memorial Behavioral Health Services. Please listen to the menu...

I listened to all 9 options and then selected the operator since all the options seemed to be for existing patients. The conversation of with the operator went smoothly and I was transferred to someone who could supposedly answer my question. I explained that I was looking for a psychiatrist.

Receptionist: Yes we are accepting new patients.

Me: Well can I schedule an appointment?

Receptionist: We don't do the scheduling that is another location. They also have to do an intake interview which takes about 20 min. Do you have time?

Me: Sure.

Receptionist: Let me transfer you.

I was on hold for about 15 min and there was no music or message to let you know you were still on hold. So for 15 min I am wondering if I am on hold or lost in the magic world of phone limbo. Finally a voice answered.

Receptionist: Hello.

Me: I would like to schedule appointment with a psychiatrist.

Receptionist: Well we might be able to get you in August or September. Wait let me look at something. (Mutters something about July to me.) When would you like an appointment?

Me: Well the sooner the better. July would be great! All the other places I talked to were telling me I had to wait until November.

Receptionist: So you want a November appointment?

Me: No. The soonest you can get me in.

Receptionist: What insurance do you have?

Me: Aetna.

Receptionist: Wait a minute...we don't accept that.

Me: I found you through the Aetna website.

Receptionist: Well whose names are you seeing?

Me: (Start reading names off the list).

Receptionist: Well that was when we were at our old location. We are now Oaklawn and don't accept your insurance. You want the Epworth Center. Their phone number is 520 627 2452 06228.

I hung up and decided to Google the Epworth Center rather than try the number she gave me. I called the Epworth Center and had to navigate another automated call list, but this time found the person I sort of needed to talk to. She confirmed that they do use Aetna and that they were accepting new patients. However, the lady who did scheduling was not at her desk, so she couldn't do anything more. She took my information and said they would get back to me.

By this time there were only a few options left. A couple yielded "please record your message after the beep. One of the last numbers I tried yielded live person, but again things went poorly.

Receptionist: Hello.

Me: Hi. I am looking to find a psychiatrist and I wondered if any of them on your staff are accepting new patients.

Receptionist: What insurance provider do you have?

Me: Aetna.

Receptionist: Bear with me I am in training so I need to consult with my supervisor. (mumbling off the phone) What kind of doctor do you need?

Me: I need someone who can prescribe medication.

Receptionist: (chatting off the phone) The only person who can see you doesn't work with Aetna.

I ended the conversation at that point. By the end of 1.5 hours on the phone, I had two promises for callbacks and no appointment. The whole experience was depressing. Most people who are seeking help for mental health issues such as depression aren't going to be up to the hassle it was to find a doctor. It also seemed wrong that unless I was in danger of hurting myself, I was going to have to wait for months to see a doctor. A person's condition could become much worse in that amount of time. So, instead of treating them while they are still able to function, they could end up having to treat them under an emergency situation. I don't understand why it is so hard to find a psychiatrist. I have never had this much trouble finding a specialist who could see me within a few weeks and that was with a shorter list of options.

In the end, I decided to use another insurance program that could get me into a psychologist quickly. I am hoping that they will be able to refer me to a psychiatrist and I can slip into the system that way.

So to all my med student friends, if you haven't decided on your field, psychiatry could use some more help, and please reserve your first patient spot for me. At this rate, it seems like my best option.

And the Rockets Red Glare

For most of my life, I have never had the chance to celebrate the 4th with fireworks. Most 4th of Julys were spent in Canada and the few times I was in the country, I lived in a state where it was illegal to set fireworks off or buy them.
So tonight we had some fun. Granted, it was not as much fun as the street over, who have been setting off mortar shows for the last 2 hours, but it also didn't cost us the sum total of my paycheck. We did some of the small novelty ones like the Egg Laying Hen and the Tank. We had a few rainbow fountains and sparklers. We also had a few bottle rockets and 10 Roman Candles. Overall, it was fun night and, as I write this, my street still sounds like a war zone and probably will late into the night.